I stopped in front of the red wine section. Instead of a craving, I felt sick to my stomach. The merlot looked like blood! I hobbled over to the white wine section. The white wine looked like pee! I paused in front of a glass case that contained the more expensive brands of booze. Being of morbid nature, I visualized the eulogy on my Tequila bottle urn.
Living Life on Life's Terms
Sevasti I. Hated tequila But, here she lies. Like an amoeba. I refrained from telling him my reincarnation theory. There was silence on the other end. After I hung up the phone, I had a panic attack.
What exactly does that mean?
Why am I convincing myself that I am the reincarnation of some lunatic who soaked in blood? And why the hell was I checking out the liquor? When I was drinking there were times I did not want to drink, but I did anyway. After I walked into AA in August , I accumulated a month and a half of sobriety and then went out. During that last relapse prior to my sobriety date on November 28, , I went cuckoo. And now, with almost five years sober, I am experiencing another form of insanity.
Thankfully, I had an appointment with my shrink a few days after my supermarket outing. As I sat in the outer office, the nurse took my temperature and vitals.
She entered them on my chart, which I could see on the computer screen. Patient has history of noncompliance with medical advice, which leads to potential health hazards. But you know what? I do care about my health and my sobriety—I really do!
Living Life on Life’s Terms | The Edge Rehab
My shrink raised the dosage of Cymbalta, and is leaning towards my having bipolar disorder, a diagnosis that is still up in the air. She is going to see me again soon, and if need be, change my medication. She also told me to go to a meeting, of all things! A day after I saw my shrink, an old-timer friend from AA told me that when she was coming up on five years, like me, the shit hit the fan. A bunch of crazy things happened in her life, but she delved more into the program, which became a shield against the external battles she faced.
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As she spoke, I imagined myself as Sevasti the Warrior, dressed in armor, clutching a shield, and fighting an unseen enemy with a sword. I felt better after I talked to her. Like Verizon Media, our partners may also show you ads that they think match your interests. Learn more about how Verizon Media collects and uses data and how our partners collect and use data. Select 'OK' to allow Verizon Media and our partners to use your data, or 'Manage options' to review our partners and your choices. Tip: Sign In to save these choices and avoid repeating this across devices.
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